My marriage blew up at the end of May. I started this blog only about 6 weeks ago. So much has happened, so much drastic change, that it feels like it’s been months or even years.
I have to say, starting this blog has been a great decision. It’s put things into perspective and helped me keep my memories and thoughts organized. I’ve read through my own posts dozens of times. Having a written account, especially when the events are fresh in my mind, prevents the memories from getting distorted by time.
I have read my anniversary post half a dozen times already, on top of all the editing and rereading I did to recreate the conversation as accurately as possible. It’s now there for me to reference whenever I need to remember it. There are things about the conversation that I didn’t really begin to notice or understand until I documented it.
I’ve gone through much of our history in my posts already, and writing and rereading these posts have been a huge factor in my change of heart. Much of what I wrote was long forgotten until I started to write. But as I started writing, I began to remember so much more. Then I would talk to Carol about these memories and see if/how she remembered these moments in our history. This helped us begin to understand our initial attraction, how our relationship developed over the years, and where it fell apart.
We learned that we can repair the damage and move in a new direction. I don’t think this would be possible without me blogging and talking with her.
What else has blogging done for me so far? It’s shown me that I can face some pretty terrible moments in my life and let them out in detail. That’s incredibly therapeutic. It’s helped me to become a more open person, more in touch with my feelings, and better at expressing them with myself and others.
Based on my experience, I highly recommend writing about your life. It’s been an incredible journey so far. It would’ve been so helpful if I had done this throughout my health crisis years ago. And to go back and read through it now would be quite amazing. Well, at least I started now.
Some odd things about my blogging: I’m not sure why I chose to censor most of the swear words. I’m writing about marriage and infidelity. This is adult stuff, I’m sure I don’t need to censor the cuss words. But even thinking about the absurdity of it while writing today’s post still couldn’t stop me from doing it. Weird.
I also find myself wanting to get very descriptive with the sexual material and having to restrain myself. It’s funny but I enjoy reading and rereading the small amount of details I end up providing.
Blogging. It’s great. Try it.