Something I wrote last night:
I’ve had it with the anger and sadness. The looking back at a painful past and worrying about an uncertain future. The hateful thoughts and the desire for revenge. I don’t want it anymore.
If my wife is going to treat me like I’m the king of her world, I’m going to sit back and enjoy it. If she goes back to her old ways, I will say goodbye and turn it into a co-parenting only relationship.
I’m going to live the rest of my days in peace, focusing on the good that life brings and not dwelling on the bad. Nobody can take my soul from me. Nobody can destroy my ability to love and care. No one is going to turn me into a bad person.
My childhood, my relationships, my marriage, none of these traumas will control me anymore. I’m going to work through them in therapy until I no longer dwell on them.
I am not a failure. I did not fail in my music career. I did not fail in my relationships. I did not fail in my health. I did not fail in my marriage. I lived. I experienced. I learned. I’m here now and I’m going to continue to share myself with others, being the good person I am.
Right now is all I’ll ever have. I’m not going to spend right now suffering with those angry thoughts. I’m not going to let them destroy me.