I’ve had two sessions so far with a hypnotherapist. She’s quite a wonderful lady. She talks to me for a bit then has me close my eyes and visualize to help heal my body from my sickness and heal my mind from the trauma.
It’s been tough but helpful so far. I don’t know much about hypnotherapy but I told her I was willing to try that route so here we are.
All I want in life is peace, to not be so angry or worried, so my body and mind stop getting worn down so hard and fast. I’ve felt all the traumas in my life wearing me down. When they tell you you’re sick, you feel sick. Then they tell you you’re sicker, and you feel sicker. I want to break this cycle.
Today, we worked on a trauma reversal. The therapist has me lock on to a good memory before the incident and a good memory afterward. Both those memories were of me laying in bed with Carol under different circumstances.
The first one, we were so young. I had my arm around her in her bed at her parents’ home. I thought I had loved before but it was never like this. It was more real. It was truth.
The next memory was when she came home drunk after seeing her friends. We lay in bed, giggling and being playful, and chatting about how we were good for each other, that we were home here.
We went back and forth over these memories for a long time. The therapist said I did so well, but a lot more has to be done to heal from the shock of the incident.
I spent some time in my safe place, asking questions to Carol’s “higher self”. There was no new information to be gained. I think it’s all just a matter of whether I accept the answers or not.
Life goes on. I will heal and life will go on.