After all I've been through in life, I think I've finally learned to embrace uncertainty. There are no guarantees. Not even marriage guarantees a future with another person, but we should've known that from the start, shouldn't we have? The thing is, we don't go through the ritual of the marriage ceremony thinking that anything … Continue reading Uncertainty
I've been fighting a battle with myself. The battle to care or not care, to love or not love, to hate or not hate. I guess I was just getting worn down by it all because I was falling into these bouts of depression. I began to avoid communicating altogether. After all, it was just … Continue reading Out of the Black
I watched a drama about difficulties in a life of marriage and children. Movies make me feel emotions a little bit. It got me vulnerable and I almost opened up. I hate that. But now, I need to write it down so I remember what I said, and unlike my last 3 posts, I'm going … Continue reading Almost Talked
The last time I saw HT in therapy, I didn't provide the full details of the session in a blog post. We mostly discussed my health but at the end of the session, there was an exchange about Carol that I've been thinking about: "She had to do something so terrible to realize that what … Continue reading Reflecting on an Undocumented Session
On an evening this past week, I brought the kids to out to watch Carol participate in her rec league sport. I don't do this very often, only if she has an early game. She plays on a team with Doreen. Their mother, my mother-in-law, plays on another team. They happened to be playing against … Continue reading Worlds Collide
At the beginning of the month, I took Carol out to celebrate our anniversary. The night before I took her out, I asked her if she remembered what happened on that day a year ago. Of course, she didn't. She doesn't write things down so she won't remember significant dates outside of birthdays and whatnot. … Continue reading Anniversaries, Emotions, Triggers, etc.
During the week, I put in my time at my job then I come home and work towards my goal of turning one of my hobbies into a career. Then on the weekends, we find something to do as a family. It's a good routine now. The ideal would be cutting the job out of … Continue reading Weekend Adventures, Learning to Love Again
Well, it's the milestone I've been waiting for, the real anniversary. We've been together for a year now. I don't know if she's aware of that. I haven't said anything yet. Besides, I like to think of it as tomorrow so it at least falls in the same month of our original anniversary. Conveniently, we … Continue reading The Real Anniversary
"How are you doing?" HT asked. "Pretty good, I guess. I have a headache today, though," I replied. "That's too bad. Can you get comfortable? "Yeah, I'll manage." "So, what's been happening in the past few weeks?" She asked. "Well, we had our camping trip," I said. "And how did that go?" "It was okay. … Continue reading Happiness?
I post anonymously on Internet forums about things that interest me. Over the years, I've made the odd comment about my personal life. Rarely, I may see an old discussion thread come up and notice that I had posted in it years ago, so I look back and see what I had said. Recently, I … Continue reading Social Media