It's been a year since I started this blog. A lot has happened in my life. A lot has changed. Hell, a lot has changed in the month of June alone. No, nothing major on the outside, all is more or less the same on that front, but on the inside, I feel there has … Continue reading A Year of Blogging part 1 – Healing
Who is this stranger that sleeps in my bed every night? She is kind and caring. She puts our marriage first. She comes to me for help solving problems. She is (possibly) open and honest. She is concerned with my feelings and health. She never yells at me, instead will politely disagree. She is thankful … Continue reading My Ideal Wife
Carol said, “I was still angry with you and so I didn’t resist.” That’s as much of an answer I’ve gotten from her about what she did. Why was she angry with me? Because of this argument earlier this year. It was less than a year after we bought a new house together. Carol was … Continue reading The Argument.
I thought I'd take a break from reliving my Nightmare to talk about recent events. Carol spent Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday night in bed with me. We hadn't gone beyond holding and kissing and I kept the discussion to a minimum, preferring to simply enjoy things as they are. We decided to have a … Continue reading Last Night’s Talk
Let's try this again, shall we? Yesterday, I stopped at her first pregnancy. As I said, Carol was quite uncomfortable and all I could do was sympathize and help ease her discomfort as much as possible. Her pregnancy meant it was the last part of our lives where it would be just the two of … Continue reading Parenthood
I woke up on the couch in an empty house that Sunday morning. The couch would be my bed for many weeks to come. I showered, got dressed, did some push-ups and spent a long time looking at myself in the mirror. I saw a good looking man in his late 30’s, confident and strong, … Continue reading The Breakdown. (That Weekend part 2)
I began writing detailed notes to myself on the weekend immediately following The Incident. First, I wrote to organize my thoughts for our upcoming discussion. The day after that, the grief kicked in and I began journaling to survive. I’ve reread some of these notes. It’s really tough to revisit those first few days but … Continue reading That Weekend part 1