Progress? Part 2

So, on our vacation I had opened up to a friend about something I’ve not spoken or written of, and I sort of talked to my wife about how I’ve been feeling inside. One more thing happened during that trip to remind us all of the past and it came from our daughter. Sarah has …

Progress? Part 1

A few things happened over the past few weeks that led up to what I think may be a little bit of progress towards healing, something like dipping my toe into the healing waters. It’s hard to say, given that I’m still very much emotionally shut down most of the time. I think writing it …

What’s Been Going On? December

Feeling even worse, I wrote an entry about the darkness inside but again, I left it in my drafts, then I published an entry about how I almost opened up to my wife. At some point after the dark clouds started to clear, seemingly on their own, but I made sure to book another appointment …

Weekend Adventures, Learning to Love Again

During the week, I put in my time at my job then I come home and work towards my goal of turning one of my hobbies into a career. Then on the weekends, we find something to do as a family. It's a good routine now. The ideal would be cutting the job out of …

Masks

I've mentioned Lydia before but not by name. During our weekend getaway, it was Lydia who had contacted Carol, in tears, over the state of her store and Rick's lack of help. Speaking of the weekend getaway post, I can't believe how detailed I got with my sexual adventures. How embarrassing! Let me tell you …

Jack, Carol, Jennifer, Rick

It's been a very eventful final few weeks for Carol at work. I decided I wouldn't post about it until it was all done and over with. In the meantime, I'd been thinking a lot about Jennifer, sympathizing with her, so I thought I'd post about her. Then I wanted to get the grand finale …

What I Want

I have to face the fact that everyone I know wants updates on my life. When they ask how things are going with me, they really mean, "How are things with Carol?" I went out twice this weekend. First, I saw my friend, Brad. He wouldn't accept any vague answers, he needed to know how …

My Ideal Wife

Who is this stranger that sleeps in my bed every night? She is kind and caring. She puts our marriage first. She comes to me for help solving problems. She is (possibly) open and honest. She is concerned with my feelings and health. She never yells at me, instead will politely disagree. She is thankful …

The Pressures of Marital Sex

Yesterday, Carol said she will be free next weekend, so throughout the day I found a babysitter and booked a hotel for our weekend getaway. Our plan is to just enjoy some time together with shopping and drinking. ‘No pressure’ I said when I first brought up the idea but as I told her during …

When the Dark Cloud Lifts and the Truth Shines Through

I've covered a lot of ground in these blog posts already but there are gaps in the timeline. There's over 6 years of a marriage breaking down under my nose. There were many great memories in that time and a handful of bad ones. Ones that made me think, this marriage is doomed. Do I …